This must be proof that I’m not sexually attracted to them and therefore in the wrong relationship.” “There are times when I feel turned off by the thought of intimacy or sex with my partner.This must mean I’m not truly in love with my partner.” “I enjoyed having alone time today while my partner was visiting their relatives.“I noticed another attractive guy/girl…that must mean I’m in the wrong relationship!”.“If I didn’t “completely” enjoy that one kiss, does that mean I’m not really attracted to my partner?”.“If I don’t think about my partner all day long, do I really love him/her?”.“What if I’m not really attracted to him/her?”.“What if I don’t really love my partner?”.Common obsessions in ROCD include thoughts such as: These obsessions frequently lead the sufferer to unrealistically demand absolute, 100% certainty in their mind about their feelings for their partner. The individual with ROCD is beset by doubts about whether their partner is “the one”, or if they are truly in love with their partner. At it’s most basic, ROCD is focused on one simple obsession: “What if I don’t really love my partner”. As with other forms of OCD, the obsessions in ROCD focus on issues of doubt and an intense discomfort with uncertainty. Obsessions in OCD are defined as repetitive thoughts, ideas, mental images, or impulses that an individual experiences as intrusive, unwanted, and/or inappropriate. When we are so regularly fed a diet of fantasy, it is no wonder that our anxiety surrounding relationships, commitment, and marriage can skyrocket. We are whisked off on a white horse to a dream world free of pain, suffering, anxiety, and as it turns out… reality. Through movies, songs and advertisements, we are fed a dream of love meant to save us from the mundane. Millions of dollars are made off misconceptions about love every day. When faced with a real person, full of flaws and humanity, it can be difficult to let go of the dream of true and perfect love long enough to see the good thing standing right in front of us. We are all conditioned by the media to focus on the honeymoon stage of a relationship – the fireworks and drug-like hunger described in love songs, romance novels, and Hollywood happy endings. Well-intentioned family members, friends, and therapists often suggest that “maybe you’re just not that into him”. Unfortunately, the lack of knowledge about the less visible symptoms of ROCD often leads to misdiagnosis. For those suffering with ROCD (and other Pure O variants such as HOCD, Harm OCD, and Scrupulosity), compulsions are often performed mentally, and can be fairly imperceptible to others. ROCD is one such sub-type.Īs with all forms of OCD, the compulsions done in ROCD are done in an effort to reduce the individual’s anxiety related to their unwanted obsessional thoughts. And while these compulsions are less noticeable by others, they still take a huge toll on sufferers. But this term is a misnomer, as people suffering with Pure O exhibit numerous, albeit less obvious, compulsions. However, there are numerous equally exhausting sub-types of OCD in which the compulsive symptoms are less overt, and which together are colloquially described as Pure Obsessional OCD, or “Pure O”. When most lay people think of OCD, they envision hours of hand washing or compulsive lock checking. Obsessions in ROCD include a preoccupation with a partner’s appropriateness as a mate, overall level of attractiveness, sexual desirability, or long-term compatibility, and often arise in otherwise entirely healthy relationships. Relationship OCD (ROCD) is a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in which the sufferer experiences intrusive, unwanted and distressing thoughts about the strength, quality, and “true nature” of their love for their partner. Mental health professionals and the public. Follow (Relationship OCD) is often misunderstood by
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